No one is perfect, but he would be pretty close.

So, I was talking to a friend who is having some guy issues. Now, we’ll just say that I have been there, done that, and leave it there. (My dating history is as sad as it is long.) I was telling my friend that she needed to have a good idea of what she wanted in a man and then not settle for less. Write it down if she had to, I suggested. Easier said than done, apparently, which she called me out on. She asked me if I had ever done that, and I had to admit I had not. I have never written out what things – big or small – would be important to me in a man. She challenged me to do just that. Well, can you imagine how that turned out? Yes, I got on a roll. While I was preparing stuff for work, my mind was racing. When I took my lunch hour, I decided to make a little list. It was longer than I expected. (One of these days you would think that I would understand my own long-windedness, but so far I still have the ability to surprise myself.)

I saw this movie once where a little girl was so hurt by the disaster of her parents’ love that she wished for a man who could never possibly exist to insure she would never fall in love. She wished for things like one green eye and one blue. I did not get that specific. I did, however, use her as a template. So, friend, here you go… I would wish for:

One who is strong and funny and good looking and tall.
One who turns me on and makes me laugh… and sometimes at the same time.
One who is self-assured and knows what he wants but is open enough to question that on a regular basis and is willing to make adjustments should they be necessary.
One who loves his mother and respects his father.
One who has a wicked and irreverent sense of humor.
One who is smart and knows it, but is not arrogant.
One who can be moved to tears, but not easily. And is not ashamed of it when he is.
One who loves children and knows how to play with them.
One who is respectful of me even when he thinks I am wrong.
One who will tell me what he thinks but understands that his opinion need not be mine.
One who will let me rant and vent if I need to and know I am not yelling at him, nor do I necessarily want him to do anything about it other than listen.
One whose ego is big enough to succeed in the world but does not overcrowd our home.
One who is tough and tender.
One who is good with his hands.
One who can read and understand poetry. And likes to.
One who is good with words and can write a love letter. And will.
One who is not sappy but reveals his emotions.
One who loves his dog.
One who has a friend who is a girl.
One who genuinely likes me, even if he is mad with me.
One who will get out on a dance floor with me, but doesn’t mind if I go it alone.
One who knows I can take care of myself, but will step in if he thinks I need a hand.
One who wants to spend time with me, but doesn’t demand all my time be with him.
One who can cook.
One who is optimistic.
One who has the similar taste in music as I but is open to new sounds and can introduce me to new things I will enjoy.
One who likes to dress up on occasion and go out on the town.
One who makes me smile whenever he crosses my mind.
One who controls his temper.
One who loves the South.
One who is interested in history.
One who understands that I have few deal-breaker issues, but I do have them and they are non-negotiable.
One who would never make a joke at my expense. Especially in public.
One who would not take me for granted, or if he ever does, realizes it and corrects it.
One who knows he can count on me to support him and believe in him, especially when he has doubts about himself.
One who spoils me and enjoys it – and lets me spoil him.
One who can tie a slip knot.
One who can build a bookshelf.
One who will change a diaper, make a bottle, buy feminine products without complaint, and will run to the store for meds for a sick child in the middle of the night.
One who accepts that men kill the bugs and take out the trash.
One who will bring flowers.
One who doesn’t mind that I talk too much.
One who can hold up his end of a philosophical conversation.
One who knows what the Pequod is, who Anne Boelyn was, where Crete is and who lived at 221B Baker Street.
One who remembers the day we met.
One who watches SEC football religiously.
One who will drink red wine and dance around the living room.
One who I am proud to introduce to everyone I know.
One who understands when there is something I need to take care of on my own and will stand back and let me handle it.
One who will give me advice when I ask for it but does not insist I take it and respects my decision if I don’t.
One who may look, but would never touch.
One who appreciates good food and really good sex and will indulge in both regularly.
One who has his own political opinions but is willing to listen and weigh the other side.
One who is not judgmental but has strong values.
One who will tolerate – and even enjoy – my mother.
One who my dad will like and respect.
One who has had his heart broken.
One with whom I have enough in common to talk with but enough differences to learn from.
One who likes surprises.
One who is affectionate.
One who is educated but still a little rough around the edges.
One who can sing.
One who helps around the house.
One who would never disparage my friends.
One who is insightful.
One who is spiritual.
One who can spend hours with me in a bookstore and not be bored.
One who brings me coffee in bed.
One who thinks I’m sexy when I don’t.
One who exudes sex appeal.
One who likes my cooking.
One who will call just to hear my voice.
One who has lived a little wilder than I.
One who doesn’t have to fill every minute with discussion and doesn’t find silence awkward.
One who likes to stay in bed and snuggle.
One who would ask what is on my mind and genuinely be curious.
One who likes picnics, museums and just heading out of town and exploring.
One who likes the beach but the mountains more.
One who is serious when he needs to be and takes me seriously when I need him to – but never, ever takes himself or me too seriously.
One who loves himself.
One who takes care of himself.
One who really listens.
One who does the little things.
One who doesn’t sweat the small stuff.
One who wants to take me places and show me things and see new things with me.
One who is as full of questions as I am.
One who is manly and masculine and shows it.
One who knows what he wants… and is sure it is me.

Oh, pina coladas and getting caught in the rain are good, too.

Originally written January 26, 2010

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