There are some things about being pregnant you cannot describe or explain. It is like the nature of the universe. It just is and you have to accept it as such.
One of the things aggravating me lately has been the food issues. Now, I have not been sick at all during this pregnancy. I threw up once and that was the day I found out I was pregnant. I am pretty sure that was psychosomatic and had nothing to do with raging hormones or other such physiological stuff. I told Jay I was pregnant and literally threw up within 15 minutes. I think it was nerves, not hormones.
Today’s issue is one that drives me nuts!!! I am so very hungry right now. I am not hungry, actually, I am pregnant hungry. And the difference is the difference between those two is like say the difference between a kiddie wading pool and an Olympic size lap pool. Yes, they are both pools, but not near the same thing. My stomach is growling. I am getting a headache. My irritation factor is multiplying exponentially. I have money and I am downtown Atlanta. I can buy whatever I want to eat. AND NOTHING SOUNDS APPETIZING. Nothing! Every time I think of something that might be good to eat, I think, “Nah. I don’t really want that.”
And lately, even when I get a food I have really been wanting to eat, I am disappointed by it. It is never as good as I thought it was going to be. I sit down and wait for them to bring me food and I am all anticipatory. I get excited when they put the plate in front of me and I think finally I will be able to satisfy my hunger with something delicious. And then I take a bite and am like, “Oh.” I mean it is good – at first. But with each passing bite it gets worse and worse. And I get more and more disappointed. It just doesn’t taste right or, at the very least, is just not near as good as I thought and hoped it would be.
Now here it is 12:30 and I have been waiting for lunch time to roll around since 10 when I first noticed I was getting hungry. I have been trying to think of something appetizing for two and a half hours and I still cannot think of anything I want. Nothing. Mexican from Baja Fresh? No. Chinese from Hsu’s? Nope. Pasta or a sandwich from Corner Bakery? Uh-uh. I have perused the (expensive) menu from Ray’s in the City thinking, hell, tomorrow is my birthday, I can get something from there for $20 and eat well today and rationalize it. Not a thing on the menu I want. Not even sushi sounds good. Salad? No. I don’t like salads. I don’t eat fast food, either. I don’t know what I want. Dammit!!!
I suppose I should just go the healthy route and get something good for me. But what? I did not take the time to box up leftovers last night, so I have to buy something. The only thing I can think of it out of the question. I would really like one of those wood oven pizzas from Carabbas. Guess what? There is not a Carabbas within driving distance and, since driving would require walking 10 minutes to the parking garage, leaving and then coming back in downtown Atlanta traffic at noon AND then walking another 10 minutes back up here with cold food (there would be no time to eat out), it is out of the question even if there was a Carabbas within driving distance. Which there isn’t. So, again… Dammit!!!
Oh, and even when I am not pregnant, I get all crazy bitchy and oddly off when I am really hungry. And the more hungry I am the less I can think of anything I want and the less chance there is that I will like whatever it is I finally wind up getting.
Screw it. I am going to go walk around Peachtree Center and the surrounding blocks until either something hits me as appetizing or I run out of time and have to get something at the nearest place. It won’t be as good as I need it to be. You can be damn sure I am packing lunch tomorrow. Of course, I will think of something fabulous to eat tomorrow and my responsibly packed lunch will sit in the office frige uneaten. Just as well.
And for good measure I am coming back to my desk with chocolate. I hear it is the anecdote for aggravation. It better be.