In my endless poking around the bottomless pit that is the internet, I came across a cringe worthy list of suggested “Love SMS for Boyfriends and Girlfriends.” Now, first of all, let me just say that I am in no way suggesting using the following. These are strictly for the enjoyment of those of us who are either sad and lonely and hate Valentine’s Day, or the others who are cool and contemptuous of the sappy-happy crap they come up with specifically for V Day. Some of us may belong to both categories. Regardless, these were so very, very bad, I just had to share so we could all make fun of them together. So, if you repeatedly watch Titanic (past seeing it at the movies, which is acceptable – owning and singing along with the soundtrack is not), watch Gossip Girls and love all Jennifer Lopez movies, please forgive me – this may offend you. They were copied and pasted from a website – I did not edit them at all (as you will see), but I swear I did not make them worse – I don’t thing I could have if I tried. I especially love the last one. I think if I received it, I would immediately go and seek a restraining order – but it would make for an interesting story:
“The list of some wonder valentine messages is given below:
Without Love — days are sad day, moan day, tears day, waste day, thirst day, fright day, shatter day. So be in love everyday…Wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day.
ill drop a tear drop into the ocean & the day i find that tear drop is the day i stop loving u!
baby i have an addiction problem.people say i shud go to rehab but I always tell the m i dont wanna go cause im addicted to … YOU
one day the moon sed 2 me, if ur lover makes u cry why dont you leave ur lover.. i looked at the moon n replied would u every leave ur sky?
When u feel alone just look at the spaces between ur fingers remeber that in those spaces u can c my fingers locked with urs 4ever!!!
there was an headcount of angels in heaven, pandemonium struck discoverin dat an angel is missing, pls call heaven & tell dem ur safe wit me,my sweet angel
I am in da emergency room now talk’n to da doctor he says it doesn’t look good he says I am going to die… If I ever stop loving YOU!
My eyes are blind without your eyes to see, Like a rose without color. Always be there in my life sweetheart.
I am opening an emotional bank account for u sweetheart, so deposit your love in it and you will get the interest.
“I’m enthralled by your beauty, mesmerized by your charisma and spellbound by your love. No wonder I am always thinking about you. I wish to celebrate every Valentine with you. Happy Valentine’s Day!
If I could die early I would ask God if I could be your guardian angel, so I could wrap my wings around you and embrace you whenever you feel alone.
Love so much my heart is sure. As time goes on I love you more, Your happy smile. Your loving
I ask God for a rose n he gave me flowers; I ask God for water n he gave me an ocean; I ask God for an angel n he gave me the best love ever!
Love can be expressed in many ways. One way I know is to send it across the distance to the person who is reading this.
To be honest with you, I don’t have the words to make you feel better, but I do have the arms to give you a hug, ears to listen to whatever you want to talk about, and I have a heart; a heart that’s aching to see you smile again.
May this Valentine bless us with the cupid of love and warmth of romance. Happy Valentine’s Day Honey!
My heart for you will never break. My smile for you will never fade. My love for you will never end. I love you!
DISTANCE CAN KEEP US AFAR BUT NOT APART BCOZ U WILL ALWAYZ B A CRUTIAL PART OF MY HEART
U r the one whose thought 4 a sec in my mind makes my every movement pleasure through out the day.
Little keys can OPEN big locks,Simple words REFLECTS great thoughts, Your Smile can CURE heart blocks, so keep on smiling…..it Rocks………..
every tears is a sign of brokeness, every silence is a sign of lonliness, every smile is a sign of kindness & every sms is rememberance of u.
Sun appears in the morning, Moon appears in the evening & at late nights but U always appear in my Heart.
You’re precious, this is true.
For you, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do.
Life is a book we all read it. Luv is a blessing we all need it. Always be happy, always have a smile coz. Remember in this world we are just for a while!
Love is a medicine for any kind of wound, but there is no medicine found in the world for a wound given by love.
A candle may melt and it’s fire may die, but the love you have given me will always stay as a flame in my heart.
We cannot be together, But we’ll never be apart, For no matter what life brings us, You’re always in my heart.
I don’t care how many lips u’ve kissed, how many shoulders u’ve embraced & how many times u’ve said, I Luv U! All I care is not be the first but to be ur last!
Feelings are many but words are few, clouds are dark but sky is blue; Luv is a paper, life is glue, every thing is false, only My Luv is TRUE. Feelings are many but words are few, clouds are dark but sky is blue; Luv is a paper, life is glue, every thing is false, only My Luv is TRUE.
U want & u get, that’s luck, U want & u wait, that’s time. U want but u compromise, that’s life. And U want & u wait & u don’t compromise that’s LOVE.
If you r in a dark room, you find blood everywhere and the walls are shaking- don’t worry friend, u r at the safest place, you r in my heart”
So, if you are alone on Valentine’s Day, don’t feel too bad. It could be worse. You could be on the receiving end of one of these messages. And as an added bonus – say my Valentine gift to you – here is a truly early 90s song with that nicely nostalgic 80s guitar rock ballad feel.
Wishing you all the best – in life and love! XOXO – Marnie
Originally written July 2011